I never liked being the oldest. Cause it means I cannot be weaker than my sisters. I got to be a stronger person with the most knowledge about everything so I can be a good example for them and be able to take care of them whenever it is required. To me I can never show a weak side to them cause if so, I will become an unreliable source of dependence. It sucks.

Sometimes I really wished I was the youngest of the family. So I don't have to worry about much things. Having an older sibling to take care of me. Having the most attention from my parents. Having more experienced people telling me things and prepare me beforehand so that I don't have to worry much.

I hate scolding my sisters. It just strain our relationship. But what can I do? Remain silence and go along with her will? Even if its not gonna be good for them? I don't like to have the need to not be able to sleep and thinking about things to help the family.