look at this. when is the last time i blogged about something? 13june 2010. don't really understand the meaning of blogging. i used to blog cause i want people to notice me, know what i'm doing so i'll post lots of pictures and a lot of stupid stuff. and sometimes i'll try to write something interesting so people would wanna continue reading but end up deleting whole chunk of nonsense that comes out from my brain. like what i'm doing now.

basically i just wanna say that i'm a person who really don't know how to express myself. sometimes there are things that i want or that i feel that is right, and people would just come say that i'm wrong or i shouldn't be doing so, i would just follow what they say and forget why i want things to be that way in the first place. i'm not good at defending myself when i'm in the right (or at least not in the wrong) nor good at trying to make myself seems right when i'm not. but some people are just so good at both. somehow i really admire them.

emo emo me. that's just the person i am. i really wonder is that why i am so unpopular? i don't talk much and prefer to keep things to myself. and when i do talk much cause i'm trying to 'socialize' with people to be friends with them, i feel so extra cause there's just a gap between me and them. it feels like i'm just gonna screw their lives so i don't wanna get close to them. i try to act in front of them sometimes cause i don't wanna make them feel bad/sad about anything. actually, i really wonder when have i really been true to anyone.