this week was the worst week so far in scs. outfield everyday. mon-wed still ok cause we came back to bunk and sleep. that's the new syllabus. thurs and fri was 2d1n field camp. though its only 26hrs, it much much worst than the 6d5n field camp in bmtc.
1) it rained so all of us were soaked. our feet are wrinkled and white in colour -.-" with blisters all over
2) we have to dig at night and cover it up -.-"
3) end of field camp, we took a bus back and realise we actually have to road march back to our coy. worst still is we have to do extra 3rounds due to our oc. one guy fainted
4) unlike bmtc, we have to carry extra weapons and stores such as metaphor and signal sets which weights like 3kg or more.
5) the ants and mosquitoes are commandos trained. they can bite through your pants and they have evolved to be resistant to insect repellent
basically, it sucks.
next mon and tues outfied training again, over night again. omg. this time is urban ops. but i wonder where we will be sleeping. just hope that it can end fast.
feeling quite sian about out field trainings now. but also feeling damn sian about myself. every since young i've be taught in a way where i do the right things cause its the right thing to do (rubbish huh). so as i grew up, i've always be listening and doing the right thing and i don't even know whether that's what i wanna do.
sometimes i really wonder is this me. like am i the kind of person that i portray to people? people see me as helpful, caring etc. cause that's what my mom says, being nice to people is the right thing to do. but if i were to be myself, will i still do the same thing?
maybe its because i fear that people won't like me if i am not nice to them. so i try my best to please and be nice to everyone so that people will like me. that's ho i perceive my life as for now. i do not want people to be unhappy with me cause i do certain things that i THINK is right. i want people to be happy cause i do the things that IS right.
but then again, i don't even know what I think I should do.
